I can’t tell you how many times I get messaged by someone who wants to get over their arachnophobia. Usually they stumble upon my work, whether on my website or on YouTube, because they are really fascinated by spiders and tarantulas, but their inner fears and phobias are getting in the way. For them, I hope this is helpful.

My heart goes out to you. I myself have lots of fears about things and struggle with anxiety often. And so I hope that what I’m going to say lands in your mind as compassionate and understanding feedback.

When I’m not doing weird stuff with my spiders (I have two), I work full time as a therapist. And one of the things that I have found to be very effective in treating phobias is exposure therapy. I have seen gradual exposure therapy (in which you slowly work up to confronting a phobia in steps, each phase more intense than the last) work extremely well for those who struggle with germophobia, and so there’s no reason why this can’t work with arachnophobia.

Many people are actually, deep down, fascinated with spiders. That was the case for me before I overcame my own (mild) arachnophobia. And then there are some who don’t really want to have a tarantula or spider as a pet, but want to become more comfortable with spiders because it is a debilitating condition.

While arachnophobia may not be as bothersome as something such as germophobia, it is still incredibly annoying and anxiety provoking. Face it, spiders are everywhere whether you are inside or outside. Getting to a good place to where your arachnophpbia no longer is controllng your life and preventing you from being present in your life is important and you deserve this. So I want to suggest some things that hopefully help you.

One of the first things you can do – and this is great for ANY fear – is to educate yourself. In therapy, one of the first things we do with a patient is to provide psychoeducation about conditions and their experiences. Knowledge is power, and sometimes a lot of fear and anxiety is caused simply because we don’t know all the facts. By educating yourself about tarantulas or spider, you may be able to reduce some fears as you learn that most spiders are actually not harmful at all. Spiders are actually very helpful and are great to have in your home for pest control! Remember- things like anxiety and fear are protective factors and serve a purpose, however often they are driven by mechanisms that perceive a danger that’s not actually real. If you can educate yourself and accept that most spiders pose no threat to you, you may be able to tone that anxiety down.

To go along with education, I recommend that you join a tarantula/spider group or forum. There are TONS of tarantula groups on Facebook (mine included) and it’s not uncommon for those who suffer with arachnophobia to pop in there to give themselves some exposure and try to confront their fears. I truly EMBRACE this and think it’s wonderful. Sometimes, when you are able to learn more about them and see tarantulas/spiders from different viewpoints (some very loving viewpoints, from their owners), your perception of what these creatures are like can widen. Many times after someone who has spent times in these groups or watched a few videos from Exotics Lair or other tarantula owners, they realize that tarantulas/spiders are actually pretty weird, silly and endearing – and they become much less scary over time. Also, if you have any friends that have a pet tarantula, definitely ask them about it. Trust me, they won’t mind – tarantulas owners LOVE sharing about their spiders and would be more than happy to talk to you about them for days lol. We don’t get asked by the general population about our spider babies often, so we WELCOME any opportunity!

If you can start to change your perception and begin to feel a little more comfortable with spiders, you might eventually be ready to take the plunge and get your own tarantula! That might seem like a big leap into a new step, but hear me out: a spider in a cage can be a lot less triggering and scary than a house spider that is running loose. Plus, this allows you the ability to get to know and study a spider in a safe environment. You can always do baby steps such as simply going into a pet store and looking at their tarantulas to see how you feel. Or even take baby steps by starting off with a sling (a baby tarantula) so you don’t have to feel very intimidated by a bigger one. There are many tarantulas that grow slowly, and so this would enable you to slowly become used to your tarantula. Getting a tarantula is something that I see a lot of former arachnophobes say has been the most useful. It seems that tarantulas, with all their silly quirks, have a way of transforming fear into love and awe. For me, this is exactly what happened. I was pretty scared of Spidey when I first got her, to be honest. But it didn’t take long before that fear turned to curiosity and endearment. Of course, I wouldn’t just get a spider to overcome fear – you have to do your research because taking on any pet is a big responsibility and you should take good care of your tarantula. But a tarantula can be a nice pet to take care of WHILE you face your fears.

The last thing I want to stress is that curing arachnophobia is for YOU. When we have intense fears like this, it controls our lives. There is no rush, and you can go at your own pace. But if all else fails, please practice kindness with spiders and all living things you are afraid of. If your arachnophobia prevents you from sharing space with spiders, please practice conscious and humane removal from your space by using devices such as this. These devices are great because they will not only keep you safe and at a safe distance from the spider, but it will be gentle on the spider and keep them safe until you can release them outside.

And, if you still don’t believe me that tarantulas can actually HELP you get over your fear of arachnophobia, check out this video by popular tarantula YouTuber Tarantula Kat!