Unless you live alone, one of the biggest obstacles for new tarantula owners is living with arachnophobic roommates, family members, or partners. I can’t tell you how many messages I get on my tarantula tumblr blog from spider lovers who really would love to get a pet tarantula, but can’t because it would cause a loved ones tons of anxiety (or they have outright forbidden it and shut the idea down).

In severe cases of cohabiting with someone who is arachnophobic, the person who is afraid may even threaten to harm the spider if it comes into the house – so you can see why a tarantula enthusiast wouldn’t want to just carelessly bring a tarantula into a hostile environment. Many tarantula lovers are actually highly considerate, respectful people who really do want their loved ones or roommates to feel comfortable and accepting of their future pet – which is exactly why I get so many questions about how to handle arachnophobia.

When you’re a tarantula lover, there’s a few different ways to address living with someone who is arachnophobic.

Here are a few tips that many people have found helpful:

• It really depends on the severity and willingness of the person to conquer their condition, but in some cases, you may even be able to help someone who suffers from arachnophobia. Many people who were once arachnophobic were able to ease their fears by experiencing a tarantula, because tarantulas are cute and furry (and often times slower) than other spiders.

 

• Exposure really works. A lot of people start slow with simply exposing themselves to pictures on blogs and websites like mine, which show the more fun, lighthearted side of tarantulas and how silly they are. Many people have been conditioned to believe that tarantulas are really evil creatures. But when they look at my tarantula’s blog, they find out that tarantulas do spider yoga, they play with toys, and do a ton of other strange, hilarious things that makes them more lovable than anyone expected them to be. Sometimes just broadening someone’s perspective on tarantulas is all it takes to shift things – so you might want to suggest some blogs or share some funny tarantula pictures or facts with them.

 

• You could also do some convincing that tarantulas are an inexpensive, low maintenance pet that stays in its tank and will not bother them at all. Compared to small pets like hamsters, rabbits, or even some reptiles, tarantulas are pretty low cost if you have a beginner species. Yes, you will spend a little on everything you need to set up its enclosure at first, but after that it’s extremely affordable. A tarantula’s food costs only a few bucks a month, and you can probably get away with doing a full tank cleaning every 3-6 months if you spot clean regularly.  It doesn’t get much easier than that!

 

• A big hairy tarantula can be a lot at once for someone who is scared. I think a very effective way to help someone who is arachnophobic could be to start out with a baby tarantula (sling) – that way, they won’t be too afraid of being bitten or see the spider as a scary threat. They may even fall in love with its cuteness :3

 

And here’s the last one, and I think it’s the most important one:

It’s important to recognize and respect that arachnophobia is a real disorder and that no one should be forced to interact with an animal if it will cause them tons of anxiety. Let your family members know that you respect their feelings and try to have a neutral discussion about how you might be able to make them feel more comfortable or safe. You might be able to create some terms and conditions or reach a compromise that works for everyone 🙂

I would like to end this post with a serious warning:

If you are lucky enough to have a tarantula, do not EVER tease a person who is arachnophobic with your tarantula, or force them to interact with it. Being a tarantula owner is a great honor and responsibility and you will not only harm the hobby’s reputation, but you will also be putting that person and your spider in a traumatic/dangerous situation where there could be severe consequences. If you think that sort of thing is funny, you should not have a tarantula at all (or any pet, really). This also goes for playing pranks with your tarantula’s molts or joking that your tarantula escaped. While some of your friends may think it’s funny, this is abusive and cruel to do to someone who has true arachnophobia. Do not “play” like this – ever.

Sorry to get all grim, but the stuff I mentioned above is what causes accidents, for both tarantulas and humans. If someone who is scared of spiders is kind enough to compromise and let you bring a tarantula into the house, you should not disrespect them by playing with their fears – or, put your spider in a position where it could be hurt. *End rant*

I hope you found this post helpful! If you liked this topic and want to learn more about tarantulas, feel free to check out my big tarantula guide (I talk about lots of enclosure and care tips). You can also get free tarantula tips by signing up for my newsletter or subscribing to my YouTube channel! I release new tips every Tuesday for Tarantula Tuesday! 

Featured image via Wall Boat